Living With Lunatics
by Sin Of Tragedy
Summary: What happens when Envy, Wrath, Edward, and Alphonse decide to live together? Edvy, possible future WrathXAl Warning: Can get pretty random. Based on my random thoughts
1. Leggo My Edo

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FMA. If I did, it would be Edvy, and have lots of buttsmex and preggos. XD

**Warnings:** - Randomness, at times.

- Lack of spell checker

- OOC

- MPREG

- Swearing

- Waffle Abuse

- Violence (??)

- Stupidity

**Living With Lunatics**

Leggo My Edo!!

It was just before breakfast and Edward and Envy were sitting in the living room on the couch. Alphonse, their younger brother, was in the kitchen making breakfast.

Annoyed golden eyes glanced up at the sin, for his head was on the boy's lap. For ten minutes now, Envy had been mindlessly flipping through channals on the big screen T.V. they owned.

"Would you just leave it on one channel!?" Edward snapped, his temper getting the best of him. Al had always told him he needed anger management, but it seemed to get worse now that he was pregnant.

Bored violet eyes met with Ed's golden glare, and Envy gave a small shrug. "Fine, but nothing's on," came the sin's reply, and he flipped the channel once more before landing on an Eggo comercial.

It was one of Wrath's favorites, who would have been here if he didn't sleep over Izumi's house. The comercial was one of many about a father trying desperatly to get his daughter's Eggo waffles, but failing misrably every time.

Just when it was over, Alphonce came into the room with an apron on. "Breakfast is ready, you two," he said, smiling as he walked over to help Edward up. His smile faded when took note that both boys were strifling laughter. "...What?" He asked, clearly confused.

"The.."

"...Apron!"

The elder boys looked at eachother once, then back at Al, then back at eachother before going into a laughing, and giggling, fit. Pouting, Al left them and went back to the kitchen. The laughing boys soon followed, already calming down.

Once there, both teens quickly took their seats and waited impationtly for their food. "Hurry up, Younger-Chibi-san!" Envy called, banging his fork and knife on the table.

"Yeah, Al, I thought you said it was done!"

"Calm down!" Al scolded them, walking over to the table with plates of-

"EGGOS!!" Wrath yelled, seemingly appearing out no-where and snatching the two piles of waffles off of the plates Al was holding.

"Wrath!?" The three boys chorused. The sudden appearance had made all three boys fill with mixed emotions such as: confusion (Al), surprise (Ed), and anger (Envy).

Wrath only responded with a grin, and he then bit into one of the waffles. "Hi ya!"

Growling, Envy jumped onto the table. "WRATH! LEGGO MY EGGO, YOU BRAT!" He yelled, attempting to jump on the boy. However, with a giggle, Wrath easily avoided the palm-tree and took a bite out of one of Envy's chocolate chip Eggos.

"You have to be faster than that, Envy!" He laughed, and ran into the next room.

When they disapeared, Alphonse sighed and turned to his brother, who was shaking with laughter. "...Ed?" He questioned, stricken with confusion for the third time this morning. When his brother only continued his giggle fit, he shifted in awekwardness. "Uhm...Brother..? Are you..okay?"

"Y-Yes!" Ed said, starting to calm down. "It's just...Wrath and Envy would be perfect for a new Eggo comercial, don't you think?" He said, grinning widely.

Al thought about it for a moment, before noding, and giggling. "Yes, they would. Too bad they would destroy the set before they finished filming it." Just then, there was a loud slam upstairs, and hurried footsteps ran down the stairs.

Wrath was the only one to arrive in the kitchen, and he quickly took hold of Edward. "Save me, shorty!" He whined, clinging onto the golden-haird boy with dear life. "Envy's going to killll me!"

Edward was about to go into one of his rants when noise that sounded awfully like a door being ripped off its hindges cut him off. "What the hell?" he muttered, insted.

Soon, heavy, angry footsteps could be heard comming their way, and the three boys quickly hid in fright. Edward and Wrath (who still clung to said teen) hid under the table, while Al hid in the tin garbage can.

Just then, Envy stormed into the room, angry written all over his face. "WRATH, WHERE ARE YOU?!" He shouted, taking a nearby chair and throwing it across the kitchen. Al let out an agrivated groan - he would have to clean that up later - but Envy ignored him and crouched under the table. When he saw that the youngest boy was clinging to his Edward, he glared and started pulling on Wrath. "Leggo my Edo!!" He whined, pulling at the boy until both boys went flying backwords.

With a sigh, Edward crawled out from under the table, being carful of their unborn baby, and pulled the two sins off eachother. "Geez, it was only waffles..Al will make more, rig- Hey, where's Al?" He asked, looking around.

"I'm in here!" Al called from the garbage, and steped out of it.

Wrath gasped and quickly stood up. "HE WAS IN THERE THE WHOLE TIME!" He exclaimed, pointed to the tin garbage can Al was in.

The room then turned an awkward silent, the other three boys staring at the strange (and a bit crazy) boy. Wrath could feel their confused stares and sighed. "...What are you talking about?" Ed finally spoke.

"Yeah, what the hell are you smoking, brat?" Envy mumbled, giving Wrath a wack on the head.

Wrath complained that they didn't spend enough time online. "It was a joke! Geez! You all are too serious...LIVE A LITTLE!" He mumbled, and left the room.

--LATER THAT DAY!!--

"My Eggo..." Envy mumbled to himself as he ate one of the waffles Alphonse had re-made for him. Edward's head was once again on his lap, and they were once again watching television. This time, however, Wrath was the one who was flipping through channels.

Edward, however, didn't mind, for Envy was feeding him delicious waffles, while gently messaging his prenant belly. Everything was peaceful, until Envy started mumbling to himself, as usual, but in third-person.

"Envy loves his Eggos..," Envy said, smiling softly as he drifted off into Waffle Land. "Envy loves-o his-o Edo...Edo loves-o Eggos...And-o...plays-o with-o leggos?" He giggled, which made Ed smile, and Wrath roll his eyes.

"And you tell me I don't get out much?"

Envy shot the boy a nasty look, before rolling his eyes. "However, Edo is my preggo," the sin purred in Edward's ear, making the golden-haird Elric blush.


	2. Bubbles and a Banana Suit

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FMA. If I did, it would be Edvy, and have lots of buttsmex and preggos. XD

**Warnings:**

- **THE MOST RANDOM AND SCARIEST THING YOU WILL EVER READ!!** (You have been warned)

- Totaly Randomness

- Lack of spell checker

- OOC

- MPREG

- Swearing

- Bubble and Lollipop Abuse

- Violence (??)

- Stupidity

- Poor Spanish (If it's wrong, blame google!!)

- Mention of drugs (No, I'm not on any .)

- Thoughts Of A Perverted, Crazed Fangirl (me)

**Thanks To:**

QuitexSoul: I LOVE your review!! Thank you so much for reading!! XD

fangirl666: Thanks for the review hearts

Swiftypup: Hehe...I'm glad I made you laugh. I hope this one makes you laugh, too!! (It scares me, but I laughed throughout it)

DN-Lover: Do you like waffles? How about pancakes? Frenchtoast? XD. I might add that song later on, if I remember. Anyway, I'm glad you think my story is funny.

Family Guy, Google, my sister, 50 Cent, Michael Jackson, Spongebob, Austin Power movies, My Little Poney, and my friends for insperation in this chapter.

**Living With Lunatics**

Bubbles and a Banana Suit

It was bathtime for Wrath. At the moment, he sat, unwillinging, in a warm pool of water while avoiding eyecontact from Envy. "You little brat! I'm more wet than you, and you're the one in the tub!" The palm-tree hissed as he sat on the sink's counter, drying his locks of emerald hair with a towel he found.

Lucky for Envy (sarcasticly, of course), it was his turn to make sure Wrath was taking his bath. All he had to do was check in on the boy every ten minutes, to make sure he was still there, and cleaned. Easier said than done. The nappy haird boy hated baths just as much as he hated Envy, which was a lot. He would whine and scream and kick until he gave into whoever was watching over him.

Of course, his additude towards bathtime usually depended on who was watching over him. Envy he disliked the most, so he would make sure to be extra annoying and stubbern with the sin. Edward was...Well, it depended on what mood the pregnant man was in. He changed emotions faster than Envy did, and that was pretty damn fast.

Then there was Alphonse...He was...Nice? Caring? Gentle? Patient? Perfect... Wrath felt his face heat up at the thought, but was knocked out of his thoughts when he was attacked by a rubber ducky. It started nawing on his head, making him flare his arms, wetting Envy even more.

No, I lied. Envy had just thrown one at his head. The meany.

"Wrath, stop spaceing and get to washing! I'll come back to check on you in nine point ninty-nine minutes, and if your ass isn't in the tub, Ed gave me permision to kill you!" Envy said, giving the boy a sadistic grin before throwing his used towel in the hamper. With that done, he began to leave, slaming the door behind him. If he listened closely, Wrath could hear Envy mumble: "...Where's my banana suit?"

Wrath furrowed his brows in confusion. Envy didn't own a banana suit; or did he? The sin was insain enough, he possibly could. Noding to himself, Wrath began scrubbing himself clean.

"Hey, kid." A squeeky voice said.

Frightened by the sudden voice, the boy dropped his shower scrunchy (which was red, his favorite color.)"...Who's there!?" He asked, scared that a) someone was watching him bathe, and b) Envy could be right about Michael Jackson hiding in all the closets...At that thought, his cloudy blue eyes gazed at the bathroom closet. "M-MJ?" He squeeked.

"...Who? Wha-NO! Idiot, look down!"

And so, Wrath did. And there was a bubble the size of his hand. "...Uhm?" Now, things were deffinitly weird. Not only was some strange voice talking to him, but he was going crazy! He did not want to end up like Envy. "Where are you?"

"I'm infront of you! I'm the bubble. I know what you must be thinking, 'How much did I smoke in order to-'" The bubble was cutt off by Wrath, for he 'accidently' poked it, causing it to bust.

The nappy haird sin let out a sigh of relief, glad it was gone. "Phew...That was..scarier than that time I caught the guys crying over Titanic.." That had been a scary night for the smallest sin. He could understand Alphonse crying (face it, fangirls. He a whimp.), but Edward and Envy?! And this was before the shrimp got pregnant. Now Ed crys whenever he sees something like a picture from when they were kids, or when he gets a papercut.

"Grr..You'll pay for that kid!!" A voice grumbled, and Wrath felt something tug on the bottom of his hair.

"Huh?" was the last thing he could say before he got swallowed up by something big and soapy.

**-Meanwhile-**

"IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! Now where 'e at? Where 'e at? Where 'e at? Where 'e at? Now der he go, der he go, der he go, der he go!"

Alphonse sighed as he and his brother sat in the kitchen. Envy was in the living room, dancing around in a banana suit he brought on Ebay while singing some crazed song he probably found on YouTube. He decided to ignore the scary palm tree and turn to the only other sain person he lives with in this insain asylum they called home...

"Brother, can I ask you a question?"

Edward looked up from the baby book he was reading for a moment, before looking back down at it. "Depends...Do I get to kill someone?"

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Oh...Uhm, well. I've been meaning to ask you this for a ...very long time."

At this, Edward put down his book and stared at Al, then noded.

"Uhm...Why Envy?"

"...What?"

"Why Envy? Why did you pick Envy? Everyone thought for sure you were going to pick the Colonel..."

"Eww, that bastard?! I'd rather be paired with Wrath than him!"

"...What's wrong with Wrath?"

"Seriously, Al. He's a major pervert, and old, too."

Al sweat droped, noting that Ed also described "Brother...Envy is those things too, worse, if I might add."

"Really?" Ed asked, and thought about it. Envy was old; over 418. The sin could also be very perverted, too. And, as if to prove that point, said sin walked through the door.

In his mouth was a green lollipop, which Envy was licking in a very slow and suductive matter. "Eddddoo... Yo para ir a la tienda de golosinas!!"

"Uhm...What?" Edward asked, confused.

"Boy una muestra de lo que me dieron, me tendrá que gastar todo lo que recibió," Envy purred, walking over to Edward and sitting on his lap (careful of the baby, though. Edo's tummy's not that big, yet).

"I think it's Spanish..," Al mumbled, staring at Envy with wide eyes.

"Continúe hasta que usted pulse el terreno," at this, the sin gently picked up Ed's left hand and started guiding it down his chest, making the boy blush, and continued down to-

"NOT WHILE I'M IN THE ROOM, PLEASE!" Alphonse squeeked loudly, making both the boys blush (Ed blushed deeper), and the palm tree backed off. With a sigh, Al rubbed his head. "Please...Don't do that while I'm around...And besides, aren't you supose to go check on Wrath?"

**-BACK TO WRATH!-**

Wrath opened his eyes to find himself underwater in his bathtub; acturaly, there was way more water then he could remember. _'Wha..Where am I?!' _He thought, scared. Just as he tried to swim to the serface (mind you, he's still naked), his hand was tugged on.

Turning, he spoted what, more like who, was pulling him. It was the most hidious fishmaid he had ever seen. It had the head of a fish, and the body of a woman. Quickly, out of embaressment, he covered himself up, only succeeding in making the fishmaid giggle. Blushing, he watched as the fishmaid swam farther, and turned back to him, waving. Curious, he followed.

She led him to a land filled with bubbles. Everywhere he looked there were bubbles: bubble cars, bubble pets, bubble buddies. There was even a sponge like thing that looked a lot like Spongebob! "Oh my fuckin' devil, is that Songebob!?"

The fishmaid turned around and giggled. Then, with a very deep, manly voice that scared poor Wrath, she said, "No, that's his cousin, though, Spongefook." They then passed by another person, who looked just like Spongefook, but slightly different. "That's Spongefook's sister, Spongemi."

"..."

"Yes, I'm serious. Spongefook and Spongemi. Fook mi."

"How about...no?" He muttered, and followed her to their next location.

**-BACK TO ENVY!!-**

Envy checked his My Little Poney watch that was around his wrist. It had been exactly 9 minutes since he had left Wrath. Smirking, he flung open the door, hoping to catch the boy sneaking out of the tub. He was surprised to find nothing but bubbles! The entire room was filled in bubbles; Wrath must have gotten a hold on the bubble bath soap.

Slightly intiminated by the sea of bubbles, he called for Al.

**-BACK TO WRATH-**

"Wrath, I have something to tell you..." The fishmaid said, nervosly twidling with her fingers.

Wrath stoped playing with the bubble dog and looked over at her, confused. "Yeah? What is it, Tfgrgdfsrrgcakkk-Copernicas? You know you can tell me anything..."

Tfgrgdfsrrqcakkk-Copernicas looked up at him and blushed. "Well...I LOVE YOU!"

Wrath didn't have time to react, or even make noise, as she suddenly flug himself on him.

**-BACK TO THE OTHERS!!-**

"Oh no, guys! He's not in here! Or even in the tub!" Alphonse yelled, panicing. Izumi would kill them if anything happened to Wrath.

"Where the hell could he have gone?!" Envy growled, pissed that they spent all that time clearing all the bubbles away, and the brat wasn't even here.

"Pipe down, you two." Edward sighed, walking into the room after looking in Wrath's room. "He has to be somewhere.."

"I'll check the tub, again, then," Al said walking over to it and kneeling beside it.

"Not like there's much to check...It's only two feet deep...It's not as hard as finding Edo."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE FALLS DOWN THE DRAIN AND INTO THE SEWER!!"

"I didn't say any of that, but you are _my_ midget..," Envy purred, wraping his arms around the short alchemist.

"How about you two go check his room again, or something...You're not much help..," Al said, sideglanceing at them.

"Right! Let's go check our room, O-Chibi-san!" Envy giggled, nuzzling his head in Ed's neck.

"But why would he be in the-" He was cut off by Envy dragging him away.

"Finally.." Al muttered, sighing as he lazily ran his hand around in the water. Suddenly, a pale hand grabed onto it, making him scream.

At the sound of their brother's scream, Edward, who was half naked, and Envy came rushing back in in. Both of them screamed as they looked at the water. Other than a pale hand giveing Al a death grip, a mass of black hair started to rise out of the water.

All three screamed again.

Then looked at eachother, and screamed once more.

Then the mass of black screamed.

"Wrath?" Al asked.

"Al?" Wrath asked.

"Wrath?" Ed asked.

"Edward?" Wrath asked.

"Al?" Ed asked.

"Brother?" Al asked.

"ENVY!!" Envy yelled, throwing his arms in the air, then giggled.

All three of the boys sweatdroped, sighed, and stared at the crazed palm tree.

"What?" He asked. "I felt left out." Envy gave a shrug and left the room.

Edward sighed once more and put on a frown. "There are times like this, where I _pray_ our child turns out to be more like me than him...And you both know I don't believe in that stuff..." With that said, Ed rubbed both boy's heads and followed after his lover.

"How sad..." Alphonse mumbled, staring after his brother.

"Yeah. I feel bad for both of them...And their kid. Imagin having another Envy around." Both of the boys did, and both turned gostly pale. "On second thought, I'm with the shorty on that one. One Envy is hell. Two is suicide."

"Yeah...Hey, Wrath. Where have you been?"

Wrath turned and looked at him. Suddenly, he tightly closed his eyes and started to sob. "I DON'T KNOW!!"

--

Translation: Yo para ir a la tienda de golosinas.

Boy una muestra de lo que me dieron, me tendrá que gastar todo lo que recibió,

Continúe hasta que usted pulse el terreno

I'll take you to the candy shop

Boy one taste in what I got, I'll have you spending all you got,

Keep going untill you hit the spot.


	3. TIMIBFPOJAFP

**Disclaimer: **I, sadly, don't know FMA. If I did...Well...Adult Swim wouldn't even be allowed to air it XD

**Warnings: **

**- **Extramly Long Opening/Thanking/Warning Thingy

- Stupidity

- Poorly Written Chapter (Possibly the worst one...).

- What Fangirls Do On Their Free Time...

- Possible Lack Of Randomness

- Reference To/Mention Of Sex...

- Swearing

- Computer Abuse

- Lack Of Spell Checker

- OOC

- MPREG

- Lack Of Re-Reading

- Mention Of Things Not T Rated (Yeah...I might have to change the rating later. Things just pour out.)

- Moaning and Groaning (What?! Since when!? I thought this was T rated sideglance)

**Thanks To: **

Swiftypup - I love your WrathXEnvy story!! I love that pairing...(third favorite FMA pairing) And I'm glad I succeeding in making you laugh XD. It makes me very happy to know that

QuiteXSoul - Very sorry for the confusion o.o.

fangirl666: Totaly random, but my fourth favorite number is 666...XD. (First: 14, Second: 42, Third: 7 (for Seven Deadly Sins))

Dictionary . com - I LOVE YOU!! YOU ARE MY INTERNET LOVER FOR HELPING ME WITH SPELLING!! glomps computer

**Insperation: **All FMA Yaoi/Boys Love Authors On , What I Do On My Free Time, , The Internet Is For Pron Song.

**Other:**

None of you are forced to do this, but if you have any random thoughts, and if you don't mind me borrowing them, I would like to XD.

Also, in the last chapter, the Fishmaid threw 'herself onto him', but it says 'himself onto him'. Sorry about the confusion.

**Living With Linatics**

**The Internet May Indeed Be For Porn**

**(Or Just A Fangirl's Paradise)**

There was one thing Wrath, Envy, or Alphonse was allowed to do, and that was use Edward's computer. Each of the boys had their own computer. Said computers were in each of the boys' rooms, giveing them the privacy of browsing the world wide web a teenager would need.

However, not even Envy knew why his pregnant boyfriend never allowed anyone to use his computer. Was it because of the Edvy screensaver he had on it? No, that couldn't be it. Edward wasn't ashamed of their relationship anymore.

Anyhow, this is the story of what happened when Wrath, who only wanted to visit a blocked website, sumbled apon the golden-haird boy's computer.

**-SOME RANDOM POINT IN HISTORY-**

"UGH! What gives!?" Wrath growled, banging a hand on his computer. On his screen was a giant box that took up the entire screen. On it, there was, in big flashing font, "PARENTAL BLOCK! ENTER PASSWORD." With another yell of annoyence, the boy ripped the computer out of it's socket and threw it onto the floor.

"Someone's upset..," Al mumbled, walking into the room with a laundry basket. Being in a house full of lazy, tempermental, teenage boys who wanted nothing to do with chores, Alphonse was left to do everyone's laundry, not that he didn't mind. The younger Elric boy smiled hesitently at Wrath before putting the basket on the sin's bed. "What's wrong?"

"Edward put a stupid block on my computer, so I can continue my game series," Wrath grumbled, folding his arms over his chest in frustration, adding a pout.

"Oh..."

"Can I use yours?"

"No, sorry. I have a history report due tomorrow that I have to type," Al said with a sigh. He really didn't want to do it, but being the A+ student he was, he had to. "You can when I finish, though."

"But I wanna play it nooooooow," the nappy haird boy whined, stomping a foot on the ground.

Alphonse blushed lightly, finding the boy utterly adorible. "U-Uhm..How about Envy's room?" He suggested, shruging.

Wrath brightened up and noded. "Yeah! I'll use his!" He giggled and gave Al a big hug. "Thanks!" With that, the boy ran in the direction of the older sin's room, leaving behind a red Elric.

**-IN A RANDOM HALLWAY-**

Wrath never really knew how big their house really was. It had three floors, not including the basement and attic, and it had many, many hallways and doors. The only way to tell whos room was which was by the door.

Each boy had something on their door that represents something they like, or enjoy. Alphonse had (you guessed right...) kitten door stickers on his, and it was a blue color; Edward had the Flammel, and his door was black and red; Envy's door was green, and he had the ouroborus symbol painted on it - as well as a picture of Edward and himself together; and Wrath's door was red, and he had pictures of his top favorite animes on it.

However, as Wrath walked down the next hallway, he noticed, after minutes of spacing out, that he wasn't going anywhere. Annoyed, he quickened his speed to a fast walk. When that wasn't working, he started running.

Just as he was running, Al walked by, making the boy very angry. "WHAT THE HELL! How are you moving, and I'm not?!" He shouted at the taller boy, his temper getting the best of him.

Al, clearly confused (that does happen a lot, doesn't it?), stood a foot to the side of Wrath. Without any hesitation, he pushed a big red button, sending the smaller boy flying backwords. With a giggle, he said, "You might want to get off the treadmill, first." With that, the Elric helped the boy up and walked away to finish the chores.

Grumbling something about said boy being too smart for his own good, Wrath dusted himself off and continued down the hallway.

**-THE ENVIOUS HALLWAY-**

(Yes, Envy has his own hallway...He's just awesome like that.)

Wrath had just arrived at Envious Hallway, named after the palm-tree sin for painting, or putting, everything green in every room of the hallway. The boy's hand was just about to turn the handle when he started hearing voices (and noises) inside.

"Hurry, faster!!"

A grunt followed, and an annoyed, "If I go any faster, I will explode, _Edward_."

_'Envy? Shrimp?'_ Wrath thought, confused. He then tried to turn the handle, but found the door locked. '_What the hell? Why is it locked?'_ He opened his mouth to yell, but was suprised to hear a moan insted.

"E-_Envy _not _there!_"

"_Shh,_ Someone will hear you!"

"S-Sorry..Just.." There was a pause for a groan. "Push to the left more.."

"Here?"

"Nnh..N-No...Over more."

"_Here_?"

"Uhn.._Move_! I'll show you how to do it right!"

By now, the poor pre-teen was pale, and just a wee bit light headed. But who wouldn't, after hearing something like that. Edward let out another grunt, but before either boys could make any noise, Wrath was already down the hall.

**-IN ENVY'S ROOM-**

"There, the crib is all set up, and our bed will be arriveing any day now," Edward said, whiping the little amount of sweat he managed to work up. He then let out a small giggle and smiled at his lover. "Wasn't it a great idea that I suggested we'd share a room?"

"_Sure_," Envy let out a huff and rolled his eyes. "I don't see why it matters where the crib _goes_. It doesn't have to be perfect; it'll still be in this room!" Violet eyes scaned his now sky blue room. "And, I don't see _why_ you made me paint the walls as well. Green is a very comforting color."

"Blue will fit the baby better. Besides, blue stands for baby boy!"

"..."

"What?"

"You could have at least helped building the damn thing!"

"I was reading the manual.."

"UPSIDEDOWN!"

Edward jumped at his boyfriend's tone. He didn't think Envy would have a fuss over putting up a crib...It looked simple enough...Tears began to form in his eyes as he thought of upsetting Envy. "I-I'm sorry..," He whispered, bangs covering his eyes.

Envy, feeling guilty, wrapped his arms around Edward and purred in the alchemist's ear. "Ne, it's not your fault, Edo. Hey...Do you like waffles?"

"...What?"

"I said, 'Do you like waffles?'"

"Didn't we do something that involves waffles the other day?"

"...**Just answer...the damn question, Edward."**

"Uhm...Yes?"

"Do you like pancakes?"

"...Depends. The ones you make, or the ones Al makes?"

"Do-...What's wrong with my pancakes," Envy asked, narrowing his eyes at the smaller teen.

"N-Nothing..." Edward peeped, backing away from the sin a little.

The sin gave the boy a look before smiling. "Do you like French Toast?"

"I still don't understand what this has to do with anything..."

"EDWARD!"

Ed whacked himself on the head, not believeing this. "Yes, I like French Toast!! OKAY!? Can we stop this now?!"

"Do dodododo, can't wait to get a mouth full!!" Envy yelled cheerfully, and let out a giggle as he skipped out of the room. If he listened closely, Ed could hear Envy yell: "CAT BOY! I want some waffles!!"

Edward stared after him, utterly confused. What was wrong with his lover? Did the sin have some kind of mental illness that made him act so retarded? Did Dante continuiously drop him on the head when he was human? With a sigh, the golden boy rubbed his pregnant belly sadly. "Let's make sure you don't turn out to be like your father..."

**-IN EDWARD'S ROOM-**

Wrath now sat at the small alchemist's computer, spinning around on the chair until the computer warmed itself up. After about two minutes, he muttered a "yuk" sound as he saw Edward's screen. It was a picture of Ed staring at Envy with a loving face.

"Who puts themself as a screen saver? Isn't there a word for someone like that..?" Wrath mumbled as he began browsing the contents in Edward's 'My Documents' folder. He wasn't surprised to see countless anime-themed songs in the chibi's 'Music' folder, and wondered what else the boy had. That would have to wait, however, until after he had found what he was looking for.

Sighing in boredom, he opened 'Internet Explorer' and was surprised to see a site called '' as Edward's homepage. Not having heard of this, he quickly found a section he could relate to: Anime/Manga. He scrolled down, randomly viewing one here and there, until one caught his eye.

"NO WAY!" He yelled, surprised. "They made an anime off the Shrimp's life?!" Excitedly, he clicked 'Fullmetal Alchemist' and his eyes widened as he read a few of the stories that were on there. "...Ew...Roy and Hughes?!" He noticed a character chooser, and put it on himself. "Cool, I'm in here! I wonder what's here..."

He looked at each one until one caught his eyes. "EnvyXWrath?...Cool! A fight seen one!" Smirking, he clicked on it and began to read...

"Hey...Since when has that palm-tree ever straddled me in a fight..?"

**-LATER THAT NIGHT-**

"Mmhm...Beddy by time.." Edward mumbled, rubbing his belly as he walked into his room. His room was completely dark, and the only light was on the other side of the room. "Who puts a light on the other side? I mean really, wouldn't it be easier to put it by the do-ACK!" He yelled as his foot hit something squishy.

Hurring to the other side, Edward quickly turned on the light. He nearly had a heart attack when he found out that what he stept on was really Wrath. He watched, deeply concerned, as the boy rocked back an forth mumbling things like: yaoi, kissing, licking, touching, Envy, pairings, fangirls, and so forth.

Rushing to the boy's side, he shook the boy. "Wrath! Wrath! Tell me you didn't see them! TELL. ME. YOU. DIDN'T. SEE. THE. FANWORK!" He yelled, shaking the boy with every word.

Wrath noded his head slowly, eyes small and held a far off look. Then, with a weak finger, he pointed to the screen. Edward turned to his computer, and felt himself go pale.

There, on the computer screen, was hundreds of pictures the boy must have found hidden in his document folder. There was one of Al over a naked Wrath with his hands at the boy's - NOUN - and word bubbles that read "Huff! Huff!" or "Faster!" as Al -PASTENCE VERB- Wrath and put his fingers in the boy's -NOUN-.

And one of Wrath bending over as Envy stuck his -NOUN- right in his -NOUN- and a look of pure pleasure as Envy's hand played with the boy's -NOUN-

And even an Mpreg picture of a naked Wrath, while sitting on a naked Edward's - NOUN - as the boy -VERB- himself.

Embaressed at his, now exposed, obsession, Ed turned back to Wrath, who was now foaming at the mouth. "WRATH!" He choaked out a sob as the boy whispered that he was sorry, and that he could see a bright light. "Don't go to the light, Wrath! Come back to me! What will the fangirls think?! Do you really want 'Death Of Yaoi' engraved on your gravestone?!"

At that, Wrath's eyes opened wide and he jumped up. "NOOOO!!" He yelled, and ran out of the room.

Ed watched him go before go over to his computer and putting a password on it. With a sigh, he turned the machine off and walked over to his bed. "I told them not to look..." He mumbled before drifting off.

**-THE NEXT DAY-**

"Hey, Brat, we haven't spared in a while. Want to go have a fight lat-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

--

**AN**: And thus, Wrath is forever scared of doing anything with anyone of the other boys.

I think this was a very sucky chapter. Not like anything I had in mind...NEXT ONE WILL BE FUNNY! I promise.


	4. ALSATAOFM

**Disclaimer: **I do not own FMA...I really wish I did.

**Warnings: **

**- **MPREG

- Swearing

- Wrath Talking To Himself (ACK! IT'S CONTAGIOUS!!)

- Michael Jackson Reference

- Envy's True Family

- Palmtree Rape (not the kind we want (..)

- Science Gone Wrong

- Stupidity

- OOC

- AU

- Lack Of Spell Checker

- Randomness

- Poor Lyric Changing

- Result Of Procrastination

- Possibly Sucky Chapter (I get lazy...)

**Thanks To: **

Arakawa-sama - ZOMG! I NEVER THANKED YOU!! Thank you sooooo much for creating FMA and such smexy guys.

Swiftypup - Yesh, poor Wrath .. For the very same reason, no one else in my house is allowed to use my computer XD.

QuiteXSoul - I lied about the store part. I'll save that for later -grins evily- But science is in this part.

fangirl666 - Yes..o.o..But to see their reaction to fan-things would be hallarious XD

Dictionary . com - I LOVE YOU!! YOU ARE MY INTERNET LOVER FOR HELPING ME WITH SPELLING!! -glomps computer-

**Insperation: **Pokémon, My Sister, Naruto, CT Ranger Meet-Up 4-05-08, Juno, Barbie Girl, and anything else I mention.

**Other:** I got lazy with this one..Procrastination is to blame.

**Living With Lunatics**

**A Little Science And The Army Of Fat Midgets**

It was mid-afternood, and Wrath and Envy were watching Naruto. It was one of the many episodes where Orochimaru comes in and trys to molest all the chil- I mean take Sauske away for 'strength'.

"You know..That snake one, what's-his-face?" Envy asked. He was sitting upside down on a sofa-chair, legs hanging over the headrest while his hair sprewed across the floor.

"...Orochimaru?" Wrath asked from his chair. The boy was sitting sideways so that his legs hanged off one armrest, and his head lay on the other.

"Sure...He looks a lot like Michael Jackson.."

Raising an eyebrow, Wrath turned his attention back to the wide-screen t.v. and watched Orochimaru's face show up. "Ew...He does..."

Just then, Edward walked infront of the screen. When the boys complained, the pregnant teenager only narrowed his eyes and folded his arms over his chest.

Annoyed, violet eyes narrowed at his boyfriend. "You know that movie Juno? They should rename it Edo, since you just _love_ to take up the t.v. screen."

"Ha ha, very funny, Envy. Now, get up, both of you. Al's an I want you two to be productive." Still narrowed golden eyes watched both of the boys roll their eyes. Then, they landed on Wrath. "Wait, why aren't you in school, Wrath?"

At the mention of school, Wrath sat up in his chair and smirked, "I'm expelled."

Edward hit his head with his hand and sighed. "Do I _want_ to know why?"

"I kinda ...blew up the lab...?" He explained, giving a small shrug.

-_**FLASHBACK**_!-

"Alright, class. Today we are going to learn about blahblah**w**_a_**f**_f_**l**_e_**s**blahblah..."

Was all Wrath heard as he fiddled with the rubber band that helped his goggles stay in place. If it wasn't for the distubing sign on the wall that showed a girl with black holes for eyes, he wouldn't bother to put them on.

Sighing in boredom, the nappy haird pre-teen lazily picked up a test-tube holding a strange red liquid in it. What was in it, he didn't know. He wasn't one to pay attention in class. While the teacher went on with the instuctions, he noticed a bright green one, and a viarity of others. "Hmm..." He mumbled, smirking as he decited to name them.

"Green is for Envy, red is me, purple is Pride, orange is Gluttony...Blue is Lust..This pretty light blue is for Mommy, and that bastard Greed is yellow," He mumbled, moving them closer together. With that done, he put down the red tube and picked up the orange one.

Attempting to copy the voice of his fat 'sibling', he said while moving the tube with each word, "Can I eat yet, Lust? I'm so hungry and fat. All I do is lazy around, drool and eat!" He giggled and lifted up the darker blue. "No, sorry Gluttony. I have big boobs and hair that defys gravity, and I never stop complaining that I want to be a weak human. I'm also a slut, and I don't care for you, and never did, you fat pig. I have a lame power that is to make my nails grow and shrink..." With that said, he poured both the blue and orange together into a bigger tube, and placed a stopper on it.

Next he moved onto the purple and yellow one. "I'm old and wrinkly and think I can boss everyone around because I'm a Fuhrer. I'm also fugly as hell and surprised that my wife even married me," Wrath muttered as he played with the purple one. "I'm Greed! I've very stupid and I love money, sex, and everything! I'm a fag who is probably slowly dying of aids.."

He then added those two to the bigger tube that held the other two colored chemicals. His next victem was the lighter blue liquid. "I am the most wonderful mother in the entire universe! I love Wrath dearly because he is my real son, not those stupid Elric boys. I am beautiful and have awesome water powers..," With a giggle, he lifted up the green one, and pretended that it pushed the blue one into the tube with the others.

"WHAHAHA! I am Envy, and I'm a transexual fag who dresses in skirts and managed to knock up my half-brother! I'm always emo when my Father is brought into the conversation because he left my mother and I because I was a cross-dressing fag...I think I'm all that because I'm over 400 years old, but I'm not! Wrath is all powerful and sure beats my lame shap-shifty powers.. What a failure I turned out to be!"

With a small grunt, Wrath picked up the red one. "ENVY! YOU KILLED MOMMY, YOU BASTARD! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU NOW!" He yelled (at this point, the entire class was watching him.) and poured the green liquid in with the others. He began to laugh mechanicaly, failing to notice the violent reation the chemicals were begining to have.

"W-WRATH!" The teacher yelled, eyes wide. "Were you not listening when I explained NOT to mix them all together?!"

Wrath turned around to face the teacher, giving him a blank look. "...No?"

Suddenly, a loud growling noise could be heard from behind Wrath, and the boy slowly turned to face-

**AN ELECTRODE!!**

The red and white Pokémon glared at the boy, and grumbled "Electrode.."

Wrath, being the fanboy he is, gasped loudly and took out a Poké ball. "It's an Electrode!" He pointed out the obvious, and took a stance. "Electrode, I will catch you!" He exclaimed, and threw the plastic toy at the Pokémon, only succeeding in pissing the ball-like thing off even more.

With blank eyes, everyone (including the Pokémon), watched as the toy bounced off the creature and rolled back to Wrath on the floor. Suddenly, the room got brighter, and all eyes turned to the Electrode. The now golden ball started to glow as it was getting ready to explode "Shit..!" Wrath yelled, and took cover under a lab station. Next thing he knew, he was in the principal's office getting yelled at.

-**END FLASHBACK**-

"And thus, that is how I discovered how to create Pokémon," Wrath concluded, folding his arms over his chest proudly.

"What a useless Pokémon..," Envy mumbled.

"Why do you say that?" Edward asked, taking a seat next to him.

"Well, basicaly it's emo. I mean, one of its main attacks are to explode itself, which either kills it or OKs it. That's pretty suicidal to me..." He mumbled.

"Some other Pokémon hurt themselfs, too," Wrath pointed out.

"Yes," Ed agreed. "And I don't understand how a Pokémon of one type can be hurt by an attack from that type, as well."

"It's a very retarded show.."

"Is not!" Wrath exclaimed, standing up.

"Yeah, it is. They don't even speak, and when they do, they say their names. Even the humans are retarded! For example, even though a Pokémon can only say their names, with the exception of Meowth and a few others, Pokémon Trainers still take out their Poké Dex to see what the name of the Pokémon _is_," Envy explained, and gave a small yawn. "Face it, brat. It's a pointless show."

"..."

"If I may add, for some Pokémon, they invented a pre-evolvement form, _after_ the original has been out for longer. I find that confusing. Another thing, they never seem to age, either. That Ash kid has been 12 forever!" Edward whined, finding the facts annoying.

"GR! Forget you two!" With that, the boy stormed out of the house.

Not even a minute after hearing the front door slam closed did Envy advance on Edward. "Edo," He purred, pinning the short alchemist onto the couch. "I know a way we can be _productive.._"

-**LATER THAT DAY!!**-

(Sorry, I suck at lemons...)

"Uhm...What are you doing, Envy?" Alphonse asked as he walked through the metal gate that surounded their house. Being only two miles from school, the boys didn't mind walking, but today, Al had caught Envy talking to the trees just outside of their property. These weren't just any trees, they were palm-trees.

Surprised, Envy yulped and laughed nervously. Getting his act together, her lept over their gate and started towards the younger Elric. "Uhm...I was just...Talking to my cousin, Bob, and my mom."

Confused, Al looked around the sin and only saw the trees. "I..don't see anyone..?" He said, sounding as confused as he was.

Now Envy was confused. Looking back, he saw the trees. Why was the boy so confused? "They're right there.."

"Where? All I see is trees..."

"They _are_ the trees...Why do you think Edo calls me 'Palm-tree'?"

"...The hairstyle?"

"..."

Al laughed nervously as Envy glared at him. "But,...How is that possible? I thought your mother was Dante..?"

"The Bastard, our father, is a very sick man."

As Envy gained a gazed look, Al took this oppertunity to sneak away and into the house.

"Welcome back, Al. How was school?" Ed asked, greating his brother with a welcoming smile.

"Great...Hey, um..Brother?"

"Yeeesssss?" Ed asked, batting his eyelashes.

"...," Alphonse gave his brother a blank stare. Why was everyone acting strange? "Uhm..Why is Envy calling the palm-trees outside his...'family'?"

"Because that bastard of a father is a very sick man..."

"Okay..."

Just then, Al was tackled by an excited (-giggles-) Wrath. "ROAD TRIP!"

"To?" Ed asked, attempting to help his brother up. "And when?"

"Now, and to Chuck-E-Cheese!!" The boy exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air and rolling away as Al got up. "Let's go, let's GO!" He continued, jumping up and down.

Al giggled, and his brother sighed. "Fine...Let's go get Envy, first."

-**IN THE CAR**-

All four of the boys sat peacfuly in the family car. Al and Wrath sat in the back, chatting to themselfs, and the older boys sat in the front, Edward driving (would you trust Envy to drive?). Suddenly, a familuar song came on the radio and Envy shot Edward a knowing look. They both shared a smug look, and Wrath rolled his eyes.

"Here they go again," the nappy haird boy mumbled, and put on his iPod.

"Hi ya, Envy."

"Hey, Ed!"

"Want to go for a ride?"

"Sure, Edo!"

"Jump in!"

"I'm a Deadly sin in a sining world. Life of killing, it's amusing. I can change my hair, shape-shift at anytime. Imagination, I am your creation!"

"Come on, Envy, let's go party!"

"Ah ah ah, yeah."

"Come on, Envy, let's go party!"

"Ooo! Ooo!"

"Come on, En-"

"WE'RE HERE!" Wrath exclaimed, opening the door before Edward had a chance to stop.

-**AT CHUCK-E-CHEESE!**-

"Now, I'm going to wait for the pizza to arrive. I'm going to give each of you thirty coins. Use them wisely," Edward told the other three as he handed each of them a cup. With that, he walked off, leaving the three to stare at their cups puzzingly.

The first one to walk away was Wrath, who gave Alphonse his coins to hold while he played in the jungle gym.

Al was next. He had spoted a game which involves rolling very hard balls at cats. Oh, he wasn't going to play it. Just stand there and tell all the boys and girls not to do that in real life.

Envy sighed, being the last on. _'Might as well try one game.._' He thought, and started walking over to the game section. Just then, a small boy, around the age of five, walked by with his mother. Out of no where, the boy reached up and grabed a chunk of Envy's long hair. Luckly, he was male, and didn't have breasts, so the boy didn't have anything to 'accidenlty' grab while reaching for his hair(1).

Keeping his calm, Envy attempted to pull his hair out of the boy's grip. It was soon loosened, due to the mother finally noticing. "I'm sorry, Miss," the woman said, smiling apologisticly.

Envy opened his mouth to 'explain' to the woman that he was indeed male, when Edward came up behind him and said, "It's fine. You have a very cute son, Mrs." When the woman was gone, he turned to Envy and made a 'tch' noise. "Really, Envy. If you want people to believe that you're a guy, wear more clothing." Edward then stalked off before Envy could argue.

Growling slightly, Envy headed towards the Jurassic Park video game. On his way there, he past a chubby girl who stared up at him with wide eyes, her mouth ajar slightly. He stared back with the same look. "WHAT?!" He yelled, causing the girl to only continue staring at him, as well as adults pulling their kids away from around him. With a yell of anger, he continued his way to the Jurassic Park game.(2)

-**WITH EDWARD**-

Edward smiled and waved as Wrath waved from the plastic jungle gym. Suddenly, he felt a tug on his metal arm. "Huh?" He muttered, and looked down. There, there was an adorible girl around the age of four. With a smile, he crouched down (carful of the baby) to her hight, feeling proud that he was taller than her. "Yes?"

"You're pretty, Miss," She complimented, her big blue eyes staring up at him innocently.

He sweatdroped and laughed annoyed. "I'm a guy, sweety..," he told her, petting her head lightly. '_Ah..So this is how Envy feels.._' He thought numbly.

"But, if you're a guy, then how are you a-?" She asked, pointing to his four-pregnant belly, but was cut off.

"LET'S JUST...Find your mom, shall we?" He asked, laughing nervously as people started to stare. With that said, he gently guided the girl to her mom.

-**LATER THAT DAY**-

"We are never going there again!" Edward, Wrath and Envy yelled angerly on the way home. All three shot eachother a look before looking away.

"Really?" Alphonse asked, dissapointed. "I had fun, and I thought it would be nice to take my future niece or nephew there once it were older.."

"No child of mine is ever going there!" Edward snaped, almost driving off the street as he looked back at his brother. "That place is indecent and rude!"

"ED! THE WHEEL!"

"Oops!" The elder Elric muttered, turning the wheel before they crashed into a tree.

"No child of ours is going to be in the car while you drive, either," Envy mumbled as he looked out his window. Ed shot him a dirty look, but the homunculus ignored it.

--

**A/N:**

**(1)** Yeah, so, at the CT Risembool Ranger Meet-up the other day, I cosplayed as Envy to Laser Quest, and we went to Chuck-E-Cheese right after. While there, this little boy walked by me with his mom and managed to grab a chunk of hair. Seeing as I'm female, the boy managed to grope my left boob in the process T.T...Yeah. I wasn't that happy.

**(2)** There was this one girl, she gave me one of those getto 'what the hell are you looking at looks', you know. So, being In Character as I should, I gave the same look back. When she didn't look away, I yelled at her. Luckly her parents weren't around XD.


End file.
